Socially awkward

I went to a wedding this past weekend and it was all my husbands friends. I tend to keep to myself and keep my guard up around people I’m not close with. The last time i was them was a funeral, which was the day after i had a D&C from a miscarriage and i started randomly crying so i figured they all knew something was up. So at the wedding I started talking to my husbands friends wife (confusing way to word that haha) about the miscarriage and how I just keep my guard up a lot and I’m sorry if I come off as rude or stand offish. She said that it’s perfectly fine and she said she’s never judged me for being “awkward”. I said yea I am definitely like that around people I’m not close with. Does anyone else get this way around people they aren’t close with? I hate that I’m like this haha