After being in labor starting at 37 weeks to 38. I opted for an elective induction. With contractions that were inconsistent and dialation moving very slowly I wanted Rylan out ASAP.

On Thursday June 13 2019 after 6pm We headed to Kaiser Walnut Creek. Weeks in advanced I was fearless of having this kid but all the sudden getting out of that car I was anxious and having second thoughts.

We walked in and instead of going to the room where they evaluate your cervix like they did last time, they lead me straight to a delivery room.

They started me on Misoprostol a pill for in my case, an induction. They hooked me up to monitors, I didnt get the birthing tub like I had hoped, cant wear monitors in the water and you need monitors if you're getting induced.

With little to no change throughout the day and my procrastination I went from 2cm to 3½cm dilated and 60%effaced.

At 2AM they woke me out of my sleep to tell me that the pill is taking too long. Me being hesitant kept saying wait throughout the day but this is an induction it's meant to get the baby out of you ASAP. They put me on Oxytocin an IV medication meant to induce contractions stronger than the Miso.

I take the IV fall asleep and throughout the night I'm woken with doctors adjusting monitors, a blood pressure cuff going off every 15 minutes to 2 hours. And my contractions almost immediately go into turbo mode. I felt maybe 7 of the contractions I had on Oxytocin they kept raising it and lowering it due to my contractions being to close together or no progress being made.

At around 10 the fun began. They broke my water the final step to an induction and the most effective out all steps I took. I immediately start feeling cramps, in a way for both women in men to understand, imagine someone grabbing your hips and trying to force their thumbs under your hip bones through your skin. It was like menstrual cramping but 1000x worse.

I immediately call for the laughing gas. It did nothing but make me a bit dizzy. I didnt even last more than 45 minutes before I called for a self controlled epidural.

I'm shaking expecting this amazing doctor who managed to get a needle between the bones in my spine.

Dylan is sitting infront of me and as much as I feel bad at that moment for doing it, I cant help but hold his hands with death grips. The numbing needle surprisingly hurt more than the epidural needle but then again... the numbing needle is meant to do that. So they tape the epidural tubes to my back giving me a remote with a single button to release the epidural. I'm hitting that thing immediately like I'm on family feud and I got the number 1 answer, being as big as I was (5'11" about 200lbs) I had to get a lot of additional medicine to get me started. My legs basically fell asleep, the fluid going down my back was like if someone was trickling ice water down my back.

I managed to fall asleep.

At 2AM I woke up to a oxygen mask going over my face. Rylans heart beat was dropping and he wasnt getting enough oxygen. I faded in and out of sleep staring at the monitor.

The pain relief started to stop working and the anesthesiologist came back to help me up the dosage. Still felt EVERY SINGLE contraction.

I was finally at 9cm and ready to push by 6am. I waited for the doctors, again procrastinating and nervous about bringing my baby into the world.

We buckle down and labor by doctors definition went perfect. The only blessing aside from Rylan in the entire process. I pushed for 30 minutes, it felt like 10, I felt the contractions but I didnt feel him coming out of me as much. My hips felt like they were pulling apart but due to the medication it was in a non-painful way.

In less than 10 minutes the epidural wears off after birth they set my 9lb, 8 oz 22 inch long baby on my chest and he immediately moves himself to latch on for breast feeding. I'm shaking scared to drop my little glass being.

No cutting, no tearing of my skin. It went pretty smoothly.

He looks just like his dad with my head of hair. His grey blue eyes looked around. The doctors rubbing in that white cottage cheese textured fluid that he came out of the womb into his skin.

I'm asked to continue pushing to get rid of the placenta and compared to Rylans head it came out like butter 😂

Even though I can they dont let me walk. They have me use the restroom, still feel no pain fortunately. Then they move me to the wheelchair and set Rylan in my arms and wheel me to the recovery rooms. As we wheel off they play a nursey song over the speakers which they do every time a baby is born. We go into a shared room. A woman who also had a little boy sat behind a curtain on the other half of the room. Her partner/father of her child would pass us every now and again, he seemed really nice very giddy, but who wouldnt be after their child is born. They get moved to another room after a few hours.

After some of Dylans family members visit I fell asleep. ===DO NOT CONTINUE READING IF YOU'RE DISTURBED WITH THE THOUGHT OF BLOOD; UNCENSORED==== Soon after everyone left I decide to take a shower. Being that hydrotherapy is my main go to whenever I'm in any form of pain. I sit in a chair and soak in the waters warmth.

Dylan leads the nurse into the bathroom. Anyone who's got a child knows you loose all body modesty to strangers after birth. It doesnt matter how physically shy you are they see it and you dont think nothing of it, at least that's how it was in my case. I stood up and the nurse and Dylan began to help me dry off when a gush of blood fell out of me. Not a little, this clot had to have been the size of a softball. The entire shower, which it was a decent sized shower, was covered in blood.

They laid me down but we didnt think much of it. Dylan cracked jokes of it looking like a crime scene. We went on with our day.

The nurses got rotated and within an hour and a half I had soaked through a maternity pad. Now maternity pads are very much different than regular period pads. These things are built to be absorbent enough that you can pee in it. I was overflowing with blood.

The nurse laid me down firmly pressed on my abdomen. All the sudden organ sized clots were flowing out of me. Nurses, doctors surgeons all of them started flowing into the room.

My memory gets dim from this point as I faded in and out of consciousness.

They were pulling huge pads of clots from me. I was shaking calling for Dylan who was being ushered out of the room with Rylan in his arms. The only familiar face that I saw was my OBGYN who had basically been my doctor throughout the entire pregnancy and before my pregnancy.

I blacked out after fighting the effects of the pain medication, trying to stay awake.

When I woke up Dylan was at my side, Rylan was in his hospital bassinet.

I had no idea what had happened at all. Dylan hugged me and cried.

According to him and the doctors I had a major hemorrhage that almost killed me. The clot in the shower basically was holding all that blood in me and when it fell out nothing was there to prevent me from bleeding out.

Being anemic I had to be put on iron almost immediately, they also put me on oxytocin to make my uterus finish contracting.

Doctors continued to flow in and out of the room. I believe I scared away any chance of having another room mate.

5 days in the hospital. I struggle with contant headaches and backache from the epidural but other than that I'm fine and lucky to be with the two most important people in my life my son and my partner Rylan and Dylan.

Rylan was born June 15 2019, the day before fathers day.

Pictures of the most amazing men in my life.