What if I don’t love my baby even after it’s born?

Question

I’m currently 7+5 weeks pregnant with bipolar 2, anxiety, and depression. Yes I’m currently on -pregnancy safe- medication and have been for well over a year. I’ve read that uneasiness and fear is totally common in pregnancy but I’m worried I won’t love my baby. We’ve heard the heartbeat and been to two scans so far and I’ve only felt it was cool to see and not excitement or loving feelings. I know it’s early and I try to talk to my belly as much as I can to try to form a bond (I know baby doesn’t have ears yet- it’s more for me). I’ve wanted to be a mom for as long as I can remember but I’m worried when the baby comes I won’t feel anything for it. Does this go away? Will I feel more later on in pregnancy/postpartum?
TLDR: no feelings for baby at 7+5. Will I love my baby? Should I voice my concerns/to who?
UPDATE: Thank you all so much! I feel a lot less guilty and I even got the nerve to tell my husband (baby steps right?) I guess this is all part of graduating to mom status.

Answer

I’ll be honest here. I was excited to be pregnant and cared for my baby but I didn’t get that connection most people talk about. Even when my daughter was born, I loved her but let’s be real, she was a total stranger to me. I didn’t truly fall head over heels for her until she was about 5 weeks old. I freaked out about it and told my husband and he felt the same way which made me feel SO much better. Once you get to know your baby, you’ll see that they become your world.

Answer

With my first daughter, the connection was there right away during pregnancy. 
With my second however, I didn't really START to feel a bond until 20+ weeks. I'm 28 weeks now and feeling all her rolls and kicks helps me bond with her. I know I'll love her to pieces when I see her face. 
Some just don't bond or love their baby until they're born, some don't until a few weeks/months after birth.

Answer

I was like this. The whole pregnancy it’s almost like I was detached. I have bipolar 1 but I’m unmedicated under the eye of my therapist. Once he was born I just couldn’t hold in my joy I cried and it surprised even my boyfriend that i cried when they put him on my chest but hes my world.

Answer

Despite being very much so wanted and planned, I didn't really start developing strong emotional feelings for her until after we learned the sex and we could call her by name. Some people don't feel that way until after birth. And some people feel that way since their first positive. It will differ among women. But if you still haven't created a bond after the baby is born then that's could be a sign of post partum depression which should be discussed with your doctor during that time. But you have a ways to go before that

Answer

If you feel comfortable, voice your concerns to your OB. Start looking for a therapist now (which is very different from a psychiatrist, you’re prescriber). A therapist can help you understand further your fears and disconnection, and help you build a bond before baby’s arrival so that way it’ll blossom further once baby arrives. Mental illness and pregnancy can be scary, but you’re definitely not alone. With my second, I struggled with depression and suicidal thoughts, and I got help while I was pregnant and continued it through his infancy. It really helped me figure out what was real and what wasn’t.

Answer

Would you be willing to give it up for adoption?

Answer

I never connected with either of mine til they were born. One I didn’t even connect with til they were several weeks old. It willl come. It’s ok if it’s not here yet

Answer

It probably just doesn't seem real to you yet , I was kinda the same way.. more in shock.. but as I got further along  and felt the movements inside it helps create a bond 😊

What if I don’t love my baby even after it’s born?

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