PISSED

i am so mad at myself and at biology. i had sex for the first time 5 weeks ago and i didn’t use protection because IM DUMB. he pulled out and please don’t comment it’s not a safe method — i’m PAINFULLY aware. i took emergency contraception 2/3 hours later. here i am a month later STILL freaking out. i haven’t gotten a positive test but my body is completely out of whack. ive had what i thought was my period but now i’m bleeding/spotting again??? i don’t know what the hell is going on with my body and it is freaking me out. i don’t understand why it takes so long to know if your pregnant. i don’t understand why men have it so much easier. i am so mad at myself for being so dumb and putting myself in this position. i just can’t believe i would be so dumb. i cant be pregnant. it is not something i can do right now. and there are so many women who want to be and should be and i don’t understand why i could be and they can’t be. the world makes no sense. and overall i am just so mad at myself for putting myself in this position. i just wish i knew what was going on with me.