So many times

I have felt defeated during this journey. With every negative pregnancy test in the past 18 months. The butterflies of anticipation for the three minutes the test takes to think, then reality hits and the test has only one line, says NO, -, or NOT PREGNANT. Some months I sigh as I toss the test into the trash, some months I crumble to the floor on my knees vowing this is it I give up. But, I don't give up. I remember why I am on this journey. I have spent hundreds of dollars on RE co-pays, OPKs, HPTs, two rounds of Clomid, all the vials of blood drawn, the HSG, two SAs for DH and fully understand all of these hideously annoying acronyms that two years ago I would have thought was like solving the DaVinci Code. This is all a part of desperately wanting to become a mother. For many women it happens easily. They are blessed to get pregnant in the 1st, 2nd or 3rd cycle of ttc. They never have to pee on numerous OPKs or have invasive testing done. They just get pregnant. This alone makes me want to give up most days. But again, I won't give up... and neither should you. We will all have our BFP someday and we will meet on the other side (Success Stories.)