20 Things About My BIL That Bother Me

My husband is super close to his family, and I love being around them too. But for the past couple of years, I’ve had an issue with his brother. He and I have butted heads in the past where I’ve done something that hurt his feelings without realizing it, or he’ll say or do something that hurts mine.

Anyways, maybe it’s just a clash of personality. He tends to be more blunt, without a filter, impatient, brash and pushy when he wants something done. I tend to be more soft spoken, gentle, patient, and willing to listen and understand, but I can be very cold and distant when I get my feelings hurt.

What I’m about to do is probably petty, but this is the rant sub forum. So I’m going to rant and get it off my chest.

These are 20 things (in no particular order) about my BIL that have rubbed me the wrong way in the past year:

1. When at my bridal shower, my brother told everyone a story about me. Back when I was a ‘tiny, cute, sweet little girl’. My BIL then muttered to his wife, “soooo what happened since....?” Thinking I didn’t hear it.

2. I made a joke when my husband’s family were all in the room. He then tells me to leave and get out of his house. Then repeats himself, but says it more firmly. It gets awkward real fast. I diffuse the awkwardness and say “ok yeah maybe I will” and it started to feel like he wasn’t joking.

3. I made Mac n cheese for my husband and his brothers, dad and friends one night. My BIL took a bite and with a pause sets it down and says he’s not hungry anymore. Said “it’s too dry” and left it alone.

4. Tells me I have big legs.

5. Makes a joke that I look scary with or without makeup.

6. When my husband proposed that I play a part in his short films that he and his brothers and dad create, my BIL was very much against the idea and didn’t think I should even be in them.

7. My husband proposed I play another part in another one of his films, and I immediately tell him I don’t look anything like the original character. To which my BIL says “yeah, MY wife should play that part. She’d make a better (insert character here).”

8. Tries to talk over me whenever I try to talk to my husband when he’s around and yells his name over and over... (with this one I finally yelled at him and told him to wait til I’m done talking to my husband. That it’s rude to interrupt.)

9. During Fathers Day he saw a photo of my late dad who was a body builder back in the day. He was in the Natural Classic, so it had to be natural or else you were disqualified. My BIL sees a pic of my dad (who passed away years ago) and says “that can’t be natural. He looks like he took steroids. That’s not real. He doesn’t look natural.”

10. He made sure to put everyone on the guest list for his wife’s birthday party....... forgot to add me.

11. Told me if I want to see something scary, go look in the mirror.

12. Told my husband that he didn’t like that I drank alcohol (he believes drinking alcohol is one of the worst things anyone can do) and that my husband needs to know that detail about me and that it’s a problem.

13. Tells my husband he needs to buy this and that, and they aren’t cheap things ($100-$350+ for a costume cloak, scuba gear, air soft gun, etc.), and when I say we can’t buy it because we don’t have the money for it, my BIL thinks I’m just being a party pooper and ruining the fun and being too tight with money.

14. Made a joke about me being not as attractive anymore ever since I got pregnant (I was crying all day, he didn’t know that. Still jokes by saying I looked like the baby was stealing all my beauty)

15. After texting him telling him that what he said hurt my feelings, he didn’t reply and later told my husband he saw the text but didn’t have anything to say to me.

16. I later saw him, he came to give me a goodbye hug and when I gave him a “cold hug”, he told me that I didn’t need to give him the cold shoulder and that I could at least pretend to love him.

17. Made a joke about a ghost costume looking like the KKK, saying “it’ll be perfect for our maze, it’ll scare all the black people”

18. Made a joke about me and my husband over the phone with his friend (he was joking about my husband giving me oral...)

19. My husband struggled with the fear of dying at an early age and not being able to see our son be born. To which my BIL reassures my husband by saying that “look you’re going to be just fine, even if your wife died.”

20. Got upset that we didn’t go to his wife’s bday party because we were out of the country that weekend. So he demanded that we go see them when we returned to make up for not being there.

Are a lot of these things petty? Sure. But I needed to put this out there. I’ve tried talking to him and even his wife. They just say he doesn’t have a filter and that’s something he needs to work on. Otherwise he is the family favorite, and I guess I’m trying to figure out why... either way I’m learning how to just get over the way he is. He’s going to be 23 soon, so I figured he’s still young and developing.... but I still get irritated around him. Am I wrong for feeling this way??

Rant over.