Help please!

Ladies, I need help. And only positive thoughts please, no rude comments or negativity. I literally can not help feeling this way and I’m really not sure what to do.

I have a 3 year old little boy that is my world. My fiancé and I recently found out we were expecting our rainbow baby (the 3 year old is mine). We have been so so excited as it took us over a year to conceive again after our loss and we felt so lucky to finally have our turn!!

Last week we did the gender blood test from the Dr and found out we are having another little boy. I can’t help but be heartbroken... Even the whole family on both sides seemed bummed because “there are already so many boys in the family”. It didn’t help at all that family doesn’t seem to be as excited now... But, I have ALWAYS wanted to have a baby girl. Even with my first, I was expecting him to be a girl. I wouldn’t trade him for the world now. I kept telling myself from the beginning this one would be a boy so I was already expecting it, although everyone said girl. Even the ultrasound tech gave us an early guess for a girl, and absolutely EVERYTHING has been the exact opposite of my pregnancy with my son, so I had a tiny bit of hope... Also, my fiancé had a little girl from a previous relationship, but that is another very long story and doesn’t end well. So his first was a girl and I was hoping I’d have the same luck! All of my best friends, and everyone around either already has a girl or is pregnant with one now. I’m so upset thinking that I’ll only ever be able to have boys. How is it fair everyone is getting their girls? (Yes I know I shouldn’t even be worried about it and should just be thankful I’m even able to have them at all, I’m not sure what’s wrong with me, I literally can’t stop feeling this way, I want to cry every time I even think of it). We’ve talked about having a total of 4 or 5 kids (including my 3 year old) but I just can’t stop thinking what if I end up with all boys? I know this sounds awful and I just can’t help feeling this way, but it honestly makes me not want to have any more kids... Help ladies 😭 Anyone else ever feel this way? Anyone else ever want one gender so bad and finally get it as your last baby? Any idea why I would be feeling this way? I’ve heard prenatal depression is a thing and I’ve wondered if there is any way this could be the case? I am having thyroid issues, and I’ve heard the messed up levels can be an issue. I’ve also been in and out of the hospital and on several meds, diagnosed with severe HG, so it has already been a very tough pregnancy. I started out so excited, and now I don’t feel attached to this baby at all. We’ve already picked out a name, we’ve already done some shopping and planning. And nothing has changed how I feel... I’m so afraid I’m going to feel this way throughout the whole pregnancy, when I enjoyed every minute of my first.

I also feel like I can’t talk to anyone about this, especially my SO, so I am feeling so alone...