Putting my foot down and fearing the consequences.

My MIL is great when she’s great. Like as long as things are going her way she’s wonderful. I’ve had issues in the past with disrespectful ways she’s talked about me and my parents to my husband but that was years ago and I’ve moved past it. Having a cordial relationship with her is very important to me because I never want my husband to feel like he has to pick sides. We have a son now and it’s even more important to me I try to be as accommodating as possible with her. We see them once per week for a few hours and it’s great. But sometimes I’m so afraid of upsetting her or causing issues with my husband and her that I bend when I don’t want to. For example I wanted no hospital visitors when my baby was born and I was scared so I told her she could come and she stayed for 3 hours per visit every day I was in the hospital. I was miserable. It’s 100% my own fault for being a pushover.

However I tried very hard to get pregnant. It took years and 3 miscarriages before I landed pregnant with my son and now that he’s here I really want to start putting my foot down. The 10 years me and my husband have been together we have spent Christmas morning and day with his family. My parents and I always celebrated Christmas eve so it wasn’t a huge issue. But it’s extremely important to me now that I get to have Christmas morning with our son at our own house JUST US. I will be more than happy to go to her house on Christmas Day for dinner but the way I see it she got to run the show for 25 years with her kids and now I want to start making my own traditions. She also hijacked out Halloween plans and I’m going to tell her we will stop by with our son but we are going trick or treating alone, just the three of us.

She even started planning my son’s first birthday party for God’s sake! I’m just so overwhelmed with her overstepping important milestones and events. It’s time me and my husband stand up to her but I’m afraid it will cause an irreparable rift.