I feel so depressed

Is it weird that I still feel like I truly can’t be happy yet like Im still so much fearful to lose my baby cause I’ve came such a long way and i know things are going great but we still have a chance were it can all go wrong😐 like we truly feel like it won’t feel real till she/he is here and I feel like I should be doing so much more and getting things slowly ready for the baby and having to pick out names and for once actually getting excited 😪 but the last time I felt like, where I actually felt like I could be happy I ended up losing my daughter and it’s frustrating cause I know I shouldnt think like this but still I think of so many things that can go wrong and that’s why I don’t truly feel attached like I should feel as a mother and I feel so horrible for it am I wrong