Am I a bad person for this?

Question

My boyfriend is 25 very soon & still lives with his mum & dad.. All of his friends with partners have managed to move out and he's pretty much the only one left, I just feel really disappointed and a little embaressed as it would be great to have our own space and I feel like I'm with a teenager and not a man. I feel like I've been stuck with the worst berry of the bunch? I feel horrible saying that but it can be frustrating. I don't mind living with my parents still as I'm only 20 soon I still have a couple of years. But is living at home and having dinner after work made for you, your ironing and washing done, and not pay board at this age acceptable? (He has a car on lease which is £380 a month) Rip off to say how much it breaks all the time.

Answer

why don't you get your own place and let him live where he wants. some people live with their parents to save money. once you get your own place and realize how much it costs, you'll probably wish you still lived at home. I've been in my own place since I was 21 and it really sucks sometimes. having my own place is nice but the bills flowing in heavier than AF on a bad day... phew

Answer

Yall aren't that far apart in age. You sound like a hypocrite it's okay for you to live with your parents but not him. Maybe you should talk to him and tell him you think yall should move out and in together.

Answer

My husband lived at home until he was 30, when we got married. He paid a small amount for rent, which I wouldn't have expected if living at home and I thought it was crazy. There's no reason to go off and waste money if your parents are happy to have you.

Answer

Maybe there are circumstances as to why he lives there? Maybe he doesn't make enough money to move out on his own? Or maybe his parents need some help?  When my DH and I started dating he was still living with his mother at the age of 34. He had moved out and had to move back in because he was now a single father with a daughter, and needed the help. I honestly don't think that this is the worst thing in the world. My DH is a wonderful man, and a wonderful father and I wouldn't change that for the world. But in reality the cost of living is so expensive now, that a lot of people can not afford it on their own. I personally feel that there are other issues that would upset me more than him living at home. If he's a great guy and treats you and his family with respect than he's doing pretty good. Maybe you should talk to him about it, and see what he says?

Answer

I know what you mean, my ex boyfriend was like that, I'm sure he still lives with his parents at 30 years old lol that was actually one of the reasons why I left him, he didn't want to leave his mom's house and move in with me, because he was too comfortable there and didn't want to pay rent... Not a man in my eyes... But maybe your situation is different

Answer

I don't think I could date a person that age who wasn't financially stable and independent... There's only so far you can get in life by sponging off mum and dad.

Answer

Moving out on your own sounds great, until you actually do it. My husband  (we weren't married yet) and I moved out of our respective homes at 24. We moved two hrs away from our families because of my husband's job. Anyway a bunch of bad stuff happened and I found myself out of work, in the hospital, I had a mental breakdown, and I couldn't find a job to save my life. I was financially dependent on my husband and after we paid rent, $800 (which was 3/4 of his monthly income) everything was a struggle. Then we pretty much got kicked out of our place because my husband's apprenticeship was over and his boss got mad that my fiance was undecided on if he wanted to stay at that job or not (the house was owned by his boss) and we pretty much went into debt to move out. (Had to rent moving trucks, etc) And guess what? I had to go back to living with my mom and he had to go back living with his parents for six months. 
Thank God we both have way better jobs and are in a way better financial situation. But we both agree that if we could of waited and saved up more, we would have done that instead. You save up money, let your boyfriend save up money and wait. Struggling is so not worth it.

Answer

My boyfriend moved back home for awhile, to help his parents with the care of his elderly grandmother. While he was home he saved enough to have a nice down payment on his new house. I see no harm in him being home, he is saving money.

Answer

I see no harm in it. Why waste money on rent and bills and such when he doesn't have to? Maybe he's saving to buy a house someday. Maybe he's helping his parents out because they need the help. There are a lot of reasons to do that today, and I personally see no harm in it. It's only been in the last 40 years or so that people have gotten in such a rush to leave home. It's expensive, and a good way to build up unnecessary debt. Talk to him and find out his reasons for living at home. And then look at all your friends and see how much money they're spending on a place to sleep, that could be spent on other things like traveling or having fun or just saving for your future.

Answer

I feel exactly the same, my partner and I. I'm at home and he's at home and he's currently saving to get a mortgage :) at least you're not using him for his things like a lot of girls do! A few of my friends refuse to date men who still live at home which I find quite unfair, especially if they're still at home also... He's not the worst of the bunch either even though he may seem like it, he may be wanting to save for a mortgage instead of paying dead money rent which I can guess his friends with partners will be doing!

Am I a bad person for this?

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