I am being crushed during sex

I know I’m going to get lots of hate for this, so if you have some salty sh*t to say just know that I don’t care and I will ignore you.

That said.

I am struggling with my husbands weight gain. I KNOOOW that jf it was the other way around, he would be considered a massive POS for saying that about me. BUT the truth is, I just don’t want to have sex with him anymore. Like, ever. He has never been super fit, but he was average when we got married. He has gained probably around 70 pounds since, all in the midsection (he actually has amazing calves it’s unreal).

But since his stomach is so large, it’s difficult to have any sort of sex. I am 5’5” and about 125, so average. And sometimes if he is on top I am gasping for air - he is about 100 pounds heavier then me. We try it other ways and, not to be crass, but his stomach just gets in the way.

And YES, we have tried “other sex things” and all I’m going to say about it is that if a dude makes a face like a 6 year old being force fed vegetables, it’s not going to make you want to try it again.

I have tried to coerce him into eating healthier by cooking healthy meals (I like to try to stay at least semi fit) but he will skip what I made and just make a pizza. And eat the entire thing in 1 sitting.

I tried tricking him into exercising by getting him to go on walks etc, but he just refuses to leave our house.

I even brought up my genuine concern that his unhealthy lifestyle is going to kill him too young and he won’t se his kids grow up. He told me he was fine with it and didn’t really see the point in living a long life if he can’t enjoy it.

But y’all. I am not enjoying his “short life, fat life” attitude.

I want to WANT to have sex but I also need to breathe when it’s happening.

I want a partner who will eat dinner with me and go for walks.

I didn’t sign up for this lifestyle. I really believe that it’s important to keep up yourself and your body, not just for self care but also to care for your partner. I’ve held up my end. He loves that I have stayed relatively fit after 2 kids.

It’s to the point where I am so frustrated I keep seeing an attractive person and accidentally wondering what sex would be like with them. I hate myself for it.

What do I do?

And don’t just tell me that I should just deal with it bc true love is unconditional. I still love him, I can’t help if my attraction is waning