Shy with excruciating desire 😈😫😤

Let’s cut to the chase shall we? I can’t be the only person here who struggles with initiating sex?! Right?!?

My boyfriend and I will have been together for 4 years on the 18th. He is literally always the one to initiate and tbh I love a good dominant man. Lately he’s stressed the desire for me to initiate and has stated we won’t be having sex unless I do. On Valentine’s Day I bought this lingerie and we got into a minor argument because I still struggled, assuming the lingerie would be enough. Looking back I realize how lazy that is.

Now of course he struggles with keeping his ultimatum and we have sex. But I completely understand why he wants me to initiate. He wants to feel desired and know the feeling is mutual. But every time I get the nerve I panic and abort mission. Anyone here have or had these struggles? How did you get through?