How to help a depressed husband

I need advice guys. I believe my husband is suffering with depression. I believe that may be why he has turned into a very selfish person right now. Everything is about his wants and needs (and for him his wants are needs)

My marriage is, as a consequence in a very bad way. I’m starting to debate if you can help someone who doesn’t want to help themselves.

We’ve been together 9 years, married for 5, had our share of bad luck and good times, but 3 years ago an accident has left him unable to work. It may be temporary, it may be forever.

I have taken on working full time and managing our finances as it makes him feel bad that he can’t provide better.

He was to take on the household but that’s been a battle at best and I’ve now gone up to maximum hours to pay a cleaner to help.

My guess is that he’s so caught up in his macho need to be the breadwinner and physically able that he’s really struggling.

We already go to couples counselling but he is not able or willing to consider that as an issue.

In the mean time we argue all the time and his response is to leave the house during an argument or pretend I don’t exist and then not do anything that could be helpful. He was cooking once and we argued so he just stopped and went and sat down and played on his phone; ignoring me and our child until I went to bed.

I now go to bed with our son as he’s a restless sleeper and again my husband has completely withdrawn help or support because “it’s not appreciated anyway”

I leave with our son early in the morning, am home with our son at 17, we have dinner (more often than not apart or in silence). I spend some time with my son, get him bathed and we go to bed at 20 so it’s only 3 hours a day that we are even home but it’s just constant fighting.

The first time it got like this I asked him straight up did he want a divorce. He said he didn’t and so we started going to counselling but since then it’s getting worse and his response is “I have to do things your way or you will kick me out anyway”

Help!