My family didn’t see blood on wedding bed..
Hey guys, I’m going through an emotional toll. I got married about a year ago. I was born and raised in the USA but my parents are originally from Africa. I guess part of our culture is to show our bed sheets on our wedding night to my family, in laws, and other women to show that I was a virgin. I didn’t do it and not only that we didn’t announce it at all. I thought that since I was born in the states my parents would exclude me from this practice. I recently found out that apparently my parents really wanted it to happen and my whole fmaily is talking about me (my aunts, cousins). My sisters are very supportive of me and told my parents not to humiliate and carry out the practice. I’m the eldest and I just feel so much shame. Why didn’t I do it and sacrifice the honor for my family. I feel horrible and disgusted for myself. Like I can’t show my face to my community and especially family members. I’m always seeking approval from people. I don’t know what’s wrong with me. I’m highly educated and was born and raised her so I know it’s wrong, but can’t get this feeling of shame off of me. I don’t know if there’s anyone woman out there with some advice. I just want to carry out my day without thinking about it. I have a feeling of betrayal also. Especially with my parents. Because I had the whole FGM thing done to me too. I finish medical school and try to apply for residency again. I ddint make it the last time. My application is weak and I’m living with my parents while my husband is saving money so we could move out. I just want to run away. I did everything they asked of me. I married a guy from back home with the same religion. I just want to run away. I know it sounds childish.