That sad void

So I long for another child I’ve longed for 10 years for a brother or sister for my little girl only now she’s coming up to 12 years old ive lost babies many of them . How do you fill the void of not having another baby . Some days I wake up and love what I have right now some days I long for another with my husband to make him happy to make my daughter have someone to share problems with when I’m gone . I long for a big family but somedays I love the time for my husband and me . I don’t want the choice taken away from me . Where has the time gone ☹️ why can’t things be easy . I work hard I have saved enough money I just can’t seem to get the final piece to my jigsaw . So I need a way of coming to terms with what I have xx