I was 18 when I got married the first time. My ex was addicted to porn and after awhile started abusing me. It started as emotional abuse and then turned physical... now I am about to be married to a wonderful man. He knows my whole story and is more than supportive and patient.

Here is the issue. We get married next week and the closer we get, the more I push him away. I am afraid of sex! I love our relationship and friendship and know we will build an amazing life, but my ex was my first and only sexual partner (I don’t have sex outside of marriage.)

It hurts my heart when I hear of engaged couples that can’t keep their hands off of each other. I want that, but am not that. My ex used me for sex, told me it was the only reason he married me and would only touch me when he wanted it. Otherwise he would ignore me.

Now all physical touch makes me think he just wants me for sex and I’m so scared.

Someone just tell me this is normal and justified so I stop beating myself up for not being like everyone else...