Should I keep going?
My baby is ten months old and has recently been nursing about every hour. The only way to get him to sleep longer than two hours at a time is to give him a bottle of milk before bed and I just pump while husband pace feeds him. It has not always been this way! When he was first born he wouldn’t latch so I had to express and feed him by syringe for a day or so until we got him latched with a nipple shield. He was dependent on the shield for three months! I did have a lactation consultant at the time and she helped me immensely through the process but it was still a horrible experience. I had mastitis a few times and my supply has always been on the low end of the spectrum. Once we finally got off the nipple shield baby and I both had thrush for over two months because the doctor didn’t treat us both at the same time at first. Breastfeeding was uncomfortable and difficult and made me bleed and cry until he was six months old! Finally things started to get normal and I was getting more confident. Baby would nurse about every 2-3 hours and took naps during the day and slept well at night. Fast forward to June when baby was nine months and started waking up three or four times at night. He gradually stopped napping, just wanting to nurse all day. He was no longer content with nursing once on each breast and keeps going back and forth, sometimes as many as four or five times on each side per session. It’s been going on for weeks which seems too long for a growth spurt. He doesn’t have any teeth coming in. He was seven months when my period came back and the last time I took a pregnancy test (a month ago at this point) it was negative. He gets solids three times a day. I just can’t make sense of this but it’s making me crazy! I hate breastfeeding now. To be honest, I never really liked it before but I do it because it benefits both of us. But I don’t feel the bond like I’m supposed to. For me it feels more like a tether than a special bond. My husband can cuddle with him and play with him and take him out in public for hours at a time and he laughs the whole time. But the second I come around he just cries. I want the relationship my husband has with our baby! How do I feel close to my baby now? I don’t know what to do but I can’t get anything done anymore because he just follows me around crying, he won’t even let me wear him anymore. I don’t know what happened or how to fix it!