How to get over this???

I’m posting this anonymously because I feel so guilty. Please try to be gentle with me. I know 100% the things I’m saying are crazy and rude but I need help.

Everyone always told me that having a baby would bring me closer to my mom. We’ve always been “close” but that was mostly to do with my upbringing. She didn’t really raise me to be independent of her and fostered a somewhat toxic dependence on me. But she was an AMAZING mom otherwise. She has several mental illnesses that affect our lives very much but that aren’t such big issues (she isn’t violent or cruel, for example) so she refuses to seek treatment and will NOT take medication for any reason.

Throughout my whole pregnancy she was “crazy”. She would send me articles of illness outbreaks, get mad if she found out I went out because it was flu season, and she would hardly come around me because she was a nurse and was afraid of getting me sick. One time my dad had a rash that the doctors TOLD him wasn’t shingles and she refused to let me around my dad for 2 weeks because she still believed it was shingles and she didn’t believe I was immunized for chicken pox even though I have my immunization records and definitely was. So my pregnancy was a nightmare.

When my son was a newborn, she mellowed out a bit. She actually didn’t come around a ton, and when she did she was “normal” and it was nice to have her input on things especially as a nurse.

Now my son is 6 months old and my mom is driving me INSANE but for no good reason. She is just a normal grandma who says and does normal grandma things but everything she says and does, no matter how innocuous, makes me want to SCREAM. My blood pressure literally rises just by being in her presence and hearing her voice. I feel like she’s extremely intrusive sometimes. She will do research on topics and tell me the “right “ way to do things. I’m sorry, but if you want to parent another kid adopt one!!! This one is mine. Or if me and my son are out with her she is CONSTANTLY touching him. I’ll baby wear him and she will constantly touch his hands and face. If he starts to get a little fussy she immediately runs over and acts like he’s dying and starts singing to him or playing with him. I feel like 100% of the time I’m around her she’s either baby talking (like saying nonsense words. Not even talking in a baby talk voice. I NEVER baby talk my kid) or singing baby songs. I don’t feel like we can have a normal conversation. If I give my opinion on something or make a decision she OVERLY supports it and jumps on it like it was her idea and for some reason even THAT makes me upset. One more example of how mad I am and how crazy it is: if we are shopping and I go to get something for my son she hurries and grabs it and pays for it. Or if I’m already paying when it’s time to swipe my card she runs over and swipes hers. It drives me insane!!!!!! I want to buy those things for my kid!

I know I’m being irrational. I’m 26 years old and I feel and am acting like I’m 15 all over again.

I have 100% tried talking to my mom but that doesn’t work. She won’t be talked to. Spending less time with her isn’t an option for me. She’s my mom. It is what it is. What I need is first of all to know if ANYONE else had issues with their mom postpartum? Like irrational and potentially hormonal issues? And second how can I stop being so angry and short with her? My mom is who she is and I love her. I need mantras or tips on how to be in the same room as her and not seethe.