lost sense of self

I have severe anxiety and lately i have completely lost my sense of self. Highschool ended a month ago and I haven’t talked to anyone since. I feel like as if my friends wanted to talk to me they would have. Im so insecure about my personality and being boring that I completely lost who i am. I dont laugh at things the same, im so scared to be rejected, i just cant enjoy myself anymore. I want to have a normal life with friends who love me and want me around and i wanna be important to someone. I had a very strict mom growing up so i never really got the chance to be able to get a “bestfriend”. Thats all i want in life, is to matter and be happy again. If anyone has any advice for me that’ll be great