2 days ago we found out our little rainbow baby had passed. It was a missed mc. Little bubba stopped growing at around 6 weeks and I was thinking on Monday I was 10 weeks and going to see our growing rainbow. I had bleeding over the weekend but it was minimal and brown not red with no cramping so I assumed it was okay until Monday came and it was starting to go pink. I went to the ER and after my ultrasound I had a feeling something was wrong. She had asked if the doctor had concerns with my last scan and I said no as the ER doctor told me everything looks great( even though they decided to use a old ultrasound machine instead of sending me for a ultrasound in the ultrasound suite) she never showed me the screen which I know is normal and after the scan I prepared myself for the worst. 20 minutes later I was called back into a room where I waited for the doctor. When he came in he proceeded to ask if I’m with the baby’s father and when he said that I knew it for sure, when I said yes he proceeded to say that baby had no cardiac activity and had likely passed 4 weeks ago. After trying for 2 years after loosing our first daughter at 22 weeks I had lost all hope to the point I stopped testing and stopped my fertility meds, coincidentally we ended up pregnant that month. I was so scared and nervous the first 2 weeks and I started to calm down and slowly get excited but I still had the anxiety, but I didn’t not really think this would happen. We were originally expecting twins and then at 6 weeks we found out one had “vanished” but remaining baby had a heart beat of 115, I guess that same week we lost that baby as well. Today is my birthday and I’m 21. I can’t help but feel like I’ve failed as a women. I also feel lost. The two years we ttc we worked hard to become financially stable and have what we need. But I still feel like I’ve lost everything. They always taught us in school to use protection because if you don’t you will get pregnant but they never taught us about fertility problems and that they can affect you at any age. This post is so long so if anyone reads I’ll be surprised yet thankful. I’ve felt all day I needed to get this off my chest and I guess this would be the place.