I'm so upset

I don't even more why this is upsetting me this much.

My SO parents came over today and my SO mom brought up being married before having kids.

But we are trying to conceive right now.

I don't think my SO will ever be ready to be married and whenever it's brought up I feel like I am being kicked in the gut.

He says eventually he would want to married but I've already cried, thrown fits and had my heart broken about not being married by the way he acts. (No I didn't cry or throw fits in front of him).

He shows no signs of actually wanting to be married. I mean I'm living with him, we are starting a family. The saying, "why buy the cow when you get the milk free?" Comes to mind.

I feel like whenever he beings up marriage (or anyone else,) that they are dangling me a carrot trying to keep me around.

"Oh she is not seeming as interested let's hurt her by bringing up what she can't have! "

I just wish he would not talk about it anymore. In ten thousand years if he asks, he knows I'd say yes. But if he won't ask he should just not talk about it because I can't handle that.