Any Experience With Breaks/Hall Passes

Hi girls,

I am really nervous to be posting this cause I don’t wanna be judged but here goes:

I am 19 years old and I have had a boyfriend since I was 17. Before we dated I had already slept with a few people and hooked up with plenty! So, I felt I wasn’t “missing out” on anything when we got together and honestly I was really sick of being single and having casual relationships with people.

We have been together for 2 years now and I love him with all my heart which is why I feel so awful; because I kind of want to go out there and experience single life for a little bit, and yes by “experience single life” I mean hooking up.

This may sound slutty and unfaithful but I really feel like I need to have this experience. I am all about sharing love and intimacy with the right people but I also feel like I’m young and I don’t want to miss out on the “fun” years before I have to be a grown up and do grown up things.

My boyfriend and I have been through it all!; cheating, fights, nearly breaking up, pregnancy (which we didn’t go through with😕). Having been together for 2 years and experiencing some pretty heavy shit together I feel like there is this expectation that we are gonna be together non stop forever which kind of freaks me out tbh. I want to marry this guy and have kids but I don’t want to do it all now, I wanna have my fun times then settle down. We have discussed a break or a hall pass which he isn’t really all for but he said if I need it then we can. Does anyone have experience with either of these options?

Please be nice as I was really nervous to post this in the first place xx