I am 20 years old and for my whole life since I was small, I’ve been “shy” and was always the kid that no one wanted to be friends with or talk to. I was really self aware of this ever since kindergarten even. I wasn’t really bullied except for a few times I was teased but the subtle rejection from all my peers really had an effect on me. I had 1 friend for awhile and when we got to junior high they left me for someone else because my grades were bad and I guess I just wasn’t cool or fun anymore. I developed severe social anxiety and now have borderline personality disorder aswell. No job, live at home, can’t drive either because I haven’t got a license.

I see people talking about childhood trauma affecting their adult lives and I don’t know if it applies to me since I never got abused, I just was rejected by everyone and subsequently still suffer with extreme insecurities and feel like a worthless person. I know some of it is genetic because my dad has the same problems, but is it possible that my childhood/adolescence caused trauma that I’m still dealing with?