Lost sparks

I'm not sure where to start, my boyfriend cheated on me last year with his ex. Not even a month later I found out I was pregnant. Before he was prince charming always taking me on dates. Spoiling me, let me move in when I had no place to run. I was so in love it felt so real. By the time I was pregnant that was all over. I didn't and don't trust him. I've tried to fix our relationship. I let him party his ass off during my pregnancy he would go out all night I wouldn't see him until the afternoon the following day. I knew he didn't want to be a dad. I knew he wasn't ready. I've raised my son all by myself. I don't know how to walk away from this relationship but I want to be loved so bad. I want to be held in someone's arms that actaully wants me. I'm so sad.