My boyfriend is on a trip right now. He left yesterday and won't be back for ten days.

Yesterday, I decided I was going to break up with him when he comes back. We're too different, we have no shared interests and I don't see the point in being with him when he's not my best friend. He's not my partner, despite the fact that he's a great guy and really caring. I don't see us together in the long run.

Today, I started to miss him and doubt my decision. We have fun together, even if it's really surface-level stuff. He came over when I had a mental breakdown the other day. Why should I give that up? Even if his advice has a tendency to sound condescending, and he has no qualms in telling me how he thinks some things I'm excited for sound lame. (He's very opinionated and went on a rather long rant about one). He gives me cuddles and kisses and that makes me happy. I miss him, so obviously I have feelings for him still. It doesn't matter that we have nothing to talk about, or that he led me to giving up on talking to him about my stories (Which are my heart and soul) a long time ago.

(This last bit has been sarcasm)

Basically, I don't know what emotions are and I hate my dumb brain?

And I just wanted to vent.

How do you know when there's too much bad/indifference to make the good worth it?? How can you tell if caring for someone and missing them is a sign you should stay together, or just you being used to their presence?