So ladies, I haven’t posted for awhile.. well last post was in May 2018 while I was with my ex boyfriend of 10 years+. Well yes he was abusive, controlling, and more... we were TTC yet I’d miscarriage. He was cheating, for years. Many women, and I stayed. Yes I should have left, I get I was wrong but I was stuck. Well he hit me one last time feb 16th. It was bad, I was hospitalized, surprised I was able to get thru it, spinal damage, memory loss and severe pain is the outcome now. But I’m okay and out of the situation and safe now. Thank fucking god. I left him 🤷🏼‍♀️ I did everything for nothing. Of course I was depressed, unloved, severe anxiety, PTSD, etc. So I started new. I am now in an amazing relationship with the love of my life, seriously. This man is my life. He is my everything. I am treated with respect and honestly and loyalty and more every single day, he will not raise a hand to me ever, he’s just an absolutely amazing and sexy man. In my eyes ❤️ I wish I would have met him sooner, but hey it’s okay I have him now and he is my rock, my other half, and my everything. Since I have left my ex, I have suffered from severe depression, anxiety, PTSD, etc as said above. Caused weight gain (was 247 now 169) and more issues too, no confidence and more, but this man here has changed my life. I cannot thank him enough for what he has done. And ladies, he has asked me to marry him and I said yes. And I have made the best decision of my life. Finally. I cannot wait to marry this man. He makes me a better person every single day, every damn day. He gives me everything I’ve never had - love, care, happiness, trust, honesty, fun, loyalty, and so much more. And most of all because of him I’m starting to feel myself again, like the walls are coming down and I’m able to be happy again... be a person again. We go to beautiful sights just for me, for me to view what I love, nature. He takes me to the creek to sit with my feet in the water, he takes me to a place I haven’t been. Where I’m beyond happy. This man, beyond has my heart and he doesn’t even know it. There’s no way to explain it. I love him, so very much. He’s keep me smiling on my worst days, in pain physically and emotionally and yet he keeps me smiling. And I cannot take my eyes off him, he’s just amazing in every damn way. Ughs off subject... it’s been a hard year ladies!! But look where I’m at now? Best place I’ll ever be and now, we TTC 😮❤️❤️❤️ I have PCOS and it’s hard, I do not ovulate without medication, so I started my first month of femara and let’s hope for the best!!! ❤️🤞🏻baby dust this way for real for real!! But.... I can honestly say I’m where I need to be in life now ❤️❤️💏 I finally got it. The life I wanted and needed ❤️ and soon to have a little one hopefully ❤️ I deserved this, and that’s what I’m trying to get thru my head, I’m still emotionally fucked cuz of the ex over this all so of course it’s hard to get thru it. But I’m where I need to be and deserve and want. For someone whom has been hurt as I have... I think I’m doing pretty damn good pretty quickly after everything. Ladies stay strong and get help if you’re in any situation like I was. I get it, being stuck. But you deserve better, and you will one day see and feel it. I know I’m starting to, and it’s the best feeling in the world. Fix yourself and better yourself always. Find what you want and need and keep it. Get what you deserve. Find love and happiness. Don’t ever give up. One day you will see why ❤️