A couple of months ago, i got into a really bad fight...with my dad. When I was little, I was daddy’s little girl. I went to stores with him, we went out to eat together, we would joke around all the time, and our relationship couldn’t have been better. But when I went to high school, things changed.

I met my high school sweetheart (in 2012) and now we’re planning on moving in together since I’m out of college. Maybe it’s the whole cliche thing of him being jealous of me spending all my time with my partner, but that’s no excuse. My dad has been so rude to my partner even after I told him to stop. My partner tried countless of times to get on his good side but my dad never gave him a chance so my partner got tired and stopped.

Well fast forward to a few months ago. I was diagnosed with depression and anxiety at the end of last year and earlier this year, it got worse. Well I kept it a secret from everyone until I couldn’t hold it in anymore. My partner was the MOST supportive boyfriend. He would stay up with me till 2am when I would be in my college dorm feeling suicidal, he would hold me and tell me to let it all out, he helped me feel so much better about myself, he helped me out financially when I lost my job, and he did everything to make me feel happy.

Eventually I told my mom about everything and we had a heart to heart conversation, I asked her to not tell my dad because I wanted to do it whenever I was ready...and she did anyways. Fast forward to 2 weeks later and this is what happened...

My dad had let our dog out and our dog tends to roam the streets (we don’t have a fence) bark at everything and everyone, & chase people. We already had an incident with the police because our dog was out loose. Well when he let him out, I heard him barking and I called him from our door and my dad told me to stop. I told him that he shouldn’t let him out and he said it’s not a big deal. I got mad and explained to him what bad things could happen if he continues to do that. I told him next time he should just tell me to take him out and he started saying things to irritate me so I walked away and went into my room. From my room I heard my dad tell my mom that I can’t take shit and that if he were my bf I wouldn’t say crap because I let him walk all over me. He continued to say that my bf was this and that and it got to the point where I had enough. I walked into the kitchen and told him to stop. I did not yell. I did not curse. I did not get in his face. I did not insult him. I told him to just stop, that he can say anything about me but to stop bringing up my partner into everything when he has nothing to do with it. He got up from his seat, got in my face and started loudly saying to get out of his way, to shut up, to stop acting like I’m something, etc. I started walking backwards and repeated the same thing. Then he raised his hand at me and I said “Are you really going to hit me?” And he slapped me so hard across my face. You know what I did? Nothing. Because he’s my dad and even though he slapped me, I could take it. I don’t really remember what happened after that but I do remember when I felt my throat close in, I felt his hands around my neck, I saw the anger in his eyes and he wouldn’t let go. So I reacted and I swung and hit him in his eye and made him bleed. At this point my younger siblings (16,17) went into the room and shut the door, my mom was crying and yelling and my older brother (23) pulled us apart. I thought my family was going to be there for me but was I wrong. They all attacked me and said that I started the fight, that I’m the most disrespectful and disgraceful daughter for putting my hands on my father, but they didn’t say one thing to my dad. My dad didn’t even apologize, he told me that if I would’ve walked away he wouldn’t have had to do that...

I left my house for a few days and my mom was trying to guilt trip me into coming home. When I went home my dad gave me a half assed apology and 7 minutes into our talk, the doorbell rang and he told me to wait in the room. I was in the middle of talking to him and when he left I started rehearsing what I was going to say next and I started rambling in my head so much that I didn’t even realize how much time had passed. I looked at my phone and almost 10 minutes had passed. So I waited and waited, and then I started crying because he never came back...he never came up to me again, he never asked what else I had to say, he acted like nothing had happened.

I’m very family oriented and this truly broke my heart and broke me as a person. Days later I hit rock bottom and I’ve never been the same. That happened in March, it’s August and I’m still a broken person trying to get back up. I don’t know if I could ever forgive him and I don’t know if I even want to. I don’t wanna lose my dad but no dad who truly loved his daughter would ever do what he did to me...