May be pregnant (vent)

Please no judgement i know i wasnt smart. Im not ready to be a mom and im on birth control and we use condoms but i have a huge surgery in 2 weeks. Means i needed to stop with birthcontrol 6 weeks before. Well cuz i have a long distance relationship and see him only 3 to 4 times a year we have sex no matter the circumstances cuz we missed eachother. Well me being off birthcontrol we used condoms every time we did it but we missed raw a bit. We did raw but just until he got close, popped a condom on and finished. Well we did that a few times also when i was supposed to be ovulating (not smart). A bit later i started to notice some changes but hey my period was upcoming in around 3 weeks. When i think back ugh dum but i didnt think anything then. My dad and brother started saying when i came home that i looked like i gained a bit. I ate allot so thats fine. My boobs and nipples started hurting allot and started looking darker, fine my period is in 2 weeks. Nausea starts to come daily. Idk im on a vacation maybe bad food. Then i started touching my tummy allot not realizing i did. I said to my mom as a joke that i was pregnant and then she asked if there was a chance i was. I was like nop, later thinking hmmm there is cuz we did it without condom a few times a bit. Later said i was two people, me and my tummy. As a joke🤷🏼‍♀️. Well my period should be here in 3 days so lets see. If it doesnt come i take a test. If im pregnant, i am for 3 weeks and some days and i will get an abortion as soon as possible after i may have confirmed it. To teh people who are against abortion, this is the best for the ball of cells what would be a baby. I want kids in the future when i can offer them a good future just not now. Im sorry for being stupid I'll think before i do stuff.