After failing a lot of my PPD postpartum surveys from my OB but still telling her I had it together, I finally gave in and admitted I’m having a terrible time. My baby only wants to be held and absolutely throws a fit if I put him down which hasn’t helped. So after having a mental breakdown of epic proportions where I put him in his bouncer screaming and just laid on the floor crying until I couldn’t breathe and truly debated on just ending it all for myself and letting my husband find a better wife than me I called my OB. I have my first therapy session on Friday to talk about possible medications and coping techniques. I hate that this is happening to me and I feel like I failed but I need to be here for my baby. I’ve been daydreaming about just laying in my tub and letting the water just completely wash over me and ending it so I don’t have to feel this anymore which makes me feel like I’m fucking crazy because I’ve never been like that. Anyway, just wanted to come on here and tell people if youre struggling please talk to someone because our babies need us and PPD is crazy serious. I never realized how bad it can seriously get until now.