Help please

This is my first post and it might kinda silly but it's really bugging me. Well I broke up with my boyfriend after 7 months in July because he was very suicidal. I'm depressed any way so I can understand a lot of what he says but I feel really bad about it no matter how many times I say sorry. I haven't stop talking to him cause I'm afraid he will do something silly but I've realised that I adore him so much. And I'm not good with relationships as they make me feel uncomfortable but I miss him quite a bit and don't know what to do?? Do I get in a relationship with him even though they make me uncomfortable? Or do I stay friends with him and ignore my feelings?!