So much anxiety

So this is baby three and I thought my anxiety would of gone down because I’m not a new first time mum or anything like that I’ve done it before but literally my anxiety is getting so so bad I literally didn’t think it was gonna get worse at first but it has I have a anterior placenta so some days I feel her kicking away some days I don’t and it makes me proper paranoid if she’s okay I cry because I’m scared that when i go for a scan she’s not gonna have a heartbeat the last scan I had was my early gender scan at private clinic and my next scan is at 20 weeks and I’m currently 17 weeks 3 days pregnant so got wait few more weeks I’ve spoken to my midwife about it and she said that it’s probably due to pass losses I’ve had and to try relax and go into maturity assessment if I really think there is something wrong but with my anxiety I don’t want to go in when I do then her be fine but I also don’t want to leave it then her not be with my other pregnancies my anxiety was there but no way near this bad I know when I have her and she’s fine healthy and in my reach I’ll be fine relaxed etc but honestly this might be my last pregnancy and I wanna enjoy it as me and my husband haven’t decided yet if it will be