I think I may have postpartum depression. Here’s my story... I had my son about 6 months ago, and the birth was not how I wanted it. He was induced at 35 weeks and 4 days. Reason being, I had this huge boil or pimple thing on my lower back and my dr sent me to hospital ASAP to get it taken care of. He didn’t want the bacteria to spread to my unborn son, so I went and got hooked up to the monitors to monitor my baby to be sure he’s doing ok while I waited for them to drain this thing on my back. While he was being monitored we lost the heartbeat for a good 10-15 seconds dr rushed in to see if the equipment was good and not defective. I ended up staying overnight to keep monitoring him. On top of that they told me they found it wierd that hesisn’t a big baby for the fact that I did have gestational diabetes. Usually women with gd, their babies are somewhat big. So they ran test and all kinds of blood work and they found out that my placenta stopped giving him the nutrients that my son needed. Now after his birth, about three weeks being born I noticed he was coughing a lot. I took him to urgent care and that’s where things took a turn for the worst, he completely stopped breathing and turned so blue and purple... we got rushed to the hospital where he then had a seizure and lost his pulse they had to resuscitate him 3 times and intubated him. We stayed 2 weeks in the hospital . Two weeks after this incident it happened again and were rushed to valleys children hospital in Madera CA where he was intubated again for a week. Ever since this happened I haven’t been the same . I get so much anxiety when ever I here the ambulance sirens my hands shake sometimes and makes me want to cry sometimes .. I just get like super sad and idk what to do ... I just dontknow .. those memories of what I saw the 10 nurses, the er dr, the respiratory therapist desperately trying to save my son is stuck in my brain I can’t get it out of my head, I get nightmares I wake up crying like I don’t know, I get extremely emotional, ... ... any advice would be very much appreciated sorry it’s so long