Life isn't fair 😭

When I was 9 I got my dog Sox. She was my baby girl. Loved me and all our cats even when they were laying in her bed.

Then in 2015 my mom bought a house with my older brother and I was told she couldn't come with us. My heart was broken. We had to take her to the SPCA. It was one of the hardest days or my life at 16. Life goes on and now I'm living with my boyfriend and our 2 cats, and I go looking for adoptable dogs online. And then I see her.

My beautiful baby girl, gone gray with age. I want nothing more than to race to the SPCA to get her and bring her home with me. I feel like a failure for leaving her. I wonder if she remembers me. If she remembers laying on me for hours just cuddling. I wonder if she misses me and wonders why I abandoned her. Why someone won't just love her. I don't know how she would react to our cats but I want to talk to my boyfriend about seeing her. But if she doesn't like my cats, it would be unbearable to see her then not take her home.

This was the day we took her to the SPCA.

I'm sobbing and I don't know what to do. I know it's not on me for having to give her up, but it doesn't stop the pain or guilt. She deserves so much love and it kills me that she doesn't have a home 😭😭😭😭😭