Missing my daughter's first day of school 😭

My ex and I have 50/50 custody. He's extremely bitter because I left him two years ago. 50/50 was agreed on by us both. It was signed by a judge, so it's binding.

He has our daughters the first half of the school week. Im so depressed because he won't allow me there to see them. I have a restraining order against him but the way it works is that I have to avoid him as well or he can claim I essentially tried to trap him into going against the order. I've asked if I can call them before the first day and he said yes but school starts tomorrow and it's 8pm and no word.

I'm so depressed. He can't co-parent at all. The restraining order is because before I left he smashed me into a wall, punched holes, choked me etc. This isn't my fault and idk I guess I just feel like he's using the kids to punish me.

My oldest daughter has anxiety and she was so looking forward to me calling her the night before school started. I don't know what I'm going to tell her. My youngest starts Wednesday and I won't even be able to see her because I pick them up at 6 that day.

Has anyone dealt with this? Is this something I can take him to court over? I can't stop sobbing I miss my kids and I wish I never agreed on 50/50 with him.