So this is probably a bit of a ramble so apologies in advance.

I have been with my bf for just over 3 years now. I love him to bits and when we have our connection, everything is great, we could take on the world! But I have to admit it has been my most challenging relationship and when we are not connected.. I feel we are living on different planets.

As a bit of background, we are not from the same country, English is his second language and perhaps a cultural difference is also at play. I like to consider myself quite open minded and him... well let’s just say he is not as open minded and we have had some differences on things where it’s just been easier to sweep under the rug and never to be spoken about again. He’s also been the jealous type. Which at times I really struggle to handle and lose my cool which has turned into huge fights because I know deep down I have done nothing wrong. He has gotten much much better over the last year and a bit after after we came to an agreement that I am tired and can’t fight his insecurity and if he can’t truly trust me then we shouldn’t be together. I have never given him a reason for him not to trust me and I found he is just trying to be preventive. (It’s mostly been people approaching me and me being ‘too nice’ about it) He’s obviously been hurt pretty bad in the past but, let’s leave that in the past.

When we have had disagreements or if he has been jealous, he’s quite a strong personality and refuses to acknowledge any wrong doing (despite him acting like a right dick) until the next day. I find myself becoming less attracted to him when he is like that. The sex is becoming less frequent and I feel like our relationship can go a bit stagnant at times. We go through these weird phases when we are so good and nothing will bother us, won’t have drama for months. To other times we just butt heads and drive each other insane.

The last time we had a huge fight it took me nearly 2 weeks to come around and for us to be normal again. And I was so tempted to walk away. But we have a big overseas trip coming up and we’re moving house and it just didn’t seem like good timing.

I haven’t really thought about it since as we haven’t had a fight in a while but now I feel like I am being tested and don’t know what to do.

Last week I was working at an event and I met this guy who was also working. He was gorgeous! I probably checked him out a little to often and was noticed but coincidently he is from the same country as my bf and we started talking..about my bf, their country, how we are going there soon, to life and maybe we had a few flirtatious comments to each other. When I found out this guy was literally 7/8 years younger than me I backed off and consciously made an effort to talk to one of the other girls instead.

When it was time to leave I overheard him saying how he didn’t know how he was getting home and we all walked outside and it was pouring rain. I was the last to leave so I locked up behind me and saw him standing there by himself as everyone just ran off and he looking sad so I asked him how he was getting home and he was like oh don’t worry I’ll figure something out and I’m like why don’t I just call you an Uber. Maybe he wanted me to drive him but I felt that was inappropriate and after a bit of back and forth he allowed me to call an Uber and I waited with him until it came. We were talking about travelling again and he was showing me his pic on his Instagram and casually asked if he could add me. I thought this was a bit random but maybe that’s the age gap but I was like yeah sure (no harm right)

I got home to a very sweet message saying thank you and he will return the favour to

Someone he will meet who needs a lift or any help.

We got chatting and he said he wanted to see me again and I quickly added in that he might recall me talking about my bf who wouldn’t appreciate seeing this kind of message, he apologised and we went back to normal chit chat but now over a week later, I am finding myself in this silly predicament where I have this enormous crush on him. We got flirting again and I deleted all the messages because I didn’t want my bf to see and now I feel like I am basically emotional cheating on my bf.

I honestly don’t see nor am I sure I want this going anywhere more than talking, it’s just new attention I haven’t received in a while, and I’ll admit, I like it. We have another event coming up in a month and he said he was going to try and get the shift for it. But who knows. He’s so young, I’m at that age where all my friends are getting married and having kids and I’m just over here not knowing what to do with my life now. I do love my boyfriend but I do find myself questioning if we are right for each other.

So what do I do now?

Can I strengthen my relationship with my bf or does he see something in me for him to have his trust issues? This is honestly the first time I have ever even looked at someone else let alone flirted with in our entire relationship.

Has anyone been in a similar situation. Any advice?