I don't like to hang out with others too much, I do get lonely and enjoy some time with others but it wears me out emotionally and mentally. I have a hard time making friends and never know how to socialize, I'm so afraid of saying the wrong thing or coming off as "weird". I also don't see the value in making strong connections at work or school. They always end when I move on anyway. I care about the wellbeing of my friends, even when we don't speak anymore. I just don't see the point though, it really wears on me to try and continue to stay in contact. I feel really low about myself too... I don't feel good enough or smart enough.

There is a traumatic experience that I think triggered how I am now. People I trusted really hurt me when I was a teen. I've always struggled a little as I was abused verbally, emotionally, and sexually as a kid... but the one experience as a teen really did me in.

Am I a sociopath or is it just severe anxiety? I worry about my lack of wanting to keep contact or have relationships with others. I am married, so I do have romantic companionship and they are my best friend.