Here’s my original post and first update. This was 2018.

Well... I had my baby. He’s healthy and perfect and the best thing that’s ever happened to me. He’s about six months old now. Bridger and I ended up reconnecting. I got so sick of him ducking me that I cut him totally out for a couple months. Finally, about a month after my son was born, I texted him again to tell him I had the baby. It took a couple weeks to rebuild any sort of trust with him but now I’d say he and I are better than ever.

The boyfriend from my original post, he and I are done now, for unrelated reasons. That’s fine with me. He is still the one my son will know as dad growing up.

Bridger met my son once. We moved after I got pregnant, at about five months along. Two states away from Bridger. When my son’s dad and I split, we moved across the country. And we drove through Bridger’s neck of the woods again. He and I hung out for a couple hours and drove around, and he actually asked if I wanted to go back to “our spot”. Where we conceived a child. I was like “LOL sure, why not, I’m already back in your truck. Didn’t think I’d ever be sitting here again after last time” and after a sheepish smile from him, we went back.

It was raining. Yet again, there was someone else in the parking lot. I could tell he was nervous, he was having trouble making eye contact and he didn’t know what to do with his hands. I was happy to let him squirm a little bit. Realize that shit was very real. That my once flat belly and flat boobs now had some extra pudge from the million bagels that baby made me eat. That my eyes no longer looked so light and clear and excited. That I still wasn’t particularly thrilled with him. That he was not going to get laid again. That I was now a mom at 22 years old, and that it was because of him. That I would never not be a mom now.

He finally looked up at me. I raised my eyebrows.

“...You probably are gonna punch me for saying this. But. You look really mad. And it’s so cute.” I burst out laughing.

“You ass. I’m not actually mad, that’s just my face now. A lot has changed.”

We talked there for like an hour. He did try to kiss me once. I grabbed his face and pushed, and he didn’t try again. Then we drove around some more, and went back to his workshop for a little while. He showed me around and pointed out all the new changes and renovations.

It was hard being alone in a dark room with him. He flipped the lights off before we left, which are on the other side of the room, behind a big glass counter. I was waiting by the door for him. In the dark, I watched his figure walk around the counter, ignoring the keys that were sitting on it, and come stand in front of me. I didn’t say anything, and neither did he. I just looked up at him, barely able to make out his features in the dark. Then I felt his hands on my hips. I sighed. He pulled me in for a hug, which felt... Alright. It was a good hug. He’s not so great with words and being direct. Hugs are one way he prefers to communicate. He said a lot with the one action, and it was mostly “I’m sorry”. I eventually kissed his cheek and pulled back, stepping around him to grab the keys off the counter. Handed them to him.

“Let’s go. You should meet your baby before he’s old enough to realize he looks like you and not his dad, you douche bag.” Another sheepish smile. We went back to the hotel, where my lovely mother was hanging out with him while he slept. Me opening the door actually woke him up. I thanked her and released her from sitting duties, we had a lot more driving to do tomorrow, she should get some sleep. I scooped up my son and carried him outside. Bridger’s eyes... Bridger has pretty big eyes to begin with, but these things turned into blue dinner plates when he saw I was holding a real live baby. As if everything else wasn’t enough evidence that shit was real.

I didn’t say anything as we walked over to the truck. Just kinda half smiled. Baby was still sleepy, and when he’s sleepy, he just stares and tries to figure out where he is and what’s happening. His eyes are also massive. These two guys just stared at each other with their giant fucking eyes for a good twenty seconds.

“...Hi, baby... Oh my god.” Bridger gently stroked my son’s hair. Which is red, btw. “He... Has the same hair as my other son.”

“I know he does. And he has that goofy ass grin that you and your daughter do.” He looked at me. Trying to piece together that this baby was really, really real.

In that moment, I hated him. Looking back on that moment, I hate him even more than when it was happening. There was a solid year and change for him to be able to process all this. He didn’t watch me growing, but that’s because he was so flaky and I decided I wanted to be happy, so we moved. But it’s not like I didn’t occasionally send him bump pictures. And then baby pictures. And then see him, and I visibly looked different. And then I said “Hang on just a second, I’ll be right out with him.”

It’s not like didn’t have any time to fucking prepare himself for meeting this colossal secret he’s hiding from his wife.

We had a strange three person hug before we parted ways. Obviously my son being there totally changed the vibe, which was my intention. Bridger seemed pretty shaken up. Also my intention. But I do hope he was able to go home that night and kiss his wife and kids and be happy with them.

For now, I think I’ve decided to not fuck up his life and tell his wife. The universe has already repaid me for my misdeeds here, so please believe me, I’m not getting off scot free with this. Every day is a reminder that I’m a lying whore. But I am slowly trying to better myself for this beautiful child I’m raising by myself now.

To the Bridgers.

You’ve royally twisted my life up. I got really lost and barely was able to find my way back. I even gave up for a little while. But now that I’m all cleared up and home, I feel like I can keep a more watchful eye on you.

Watch your fucking back.

Love, Mountain Mist

Still clouding your judgement