To my unborn child

A letter to my unborn child:

when first seeing the two lines and finding out I was pregnant,you filled me with so much joy and love. Which I only carried you for 10 weeks, in those weeks I tried take very good care of my self to ensure you will be ok too. I felt all symptoms and felt like crap most of the time but I knew it was all worth it because it was all for you. The cravings, the fatigue, the mood swings, and the nauseousness! But I’ll do it all over again for you. When I finally was able to see you, I shed a tear of joy because I finAlly was able to see what I loved and cherished so much the past 10 weeks. I couldn’t wait to show daddy your picture!

I was ready to start planning the rest of my pregnancy with you once I finished this doctors appointment. The doctor came in to tell me the worst news I never thought I would hear. He didn’t find your heart beat 💔 you stopped growing, you weren’t alive in me 💔

My world stopped! I didn’t know what to say or do. I thought I did everything right, taking good care of my self! All the planning I had in mind are now erased and what I have to plan for is surgery to remove you out of me. I felt so torn apart completely numb and lost.

I loved you for every second I carried you from the moment I knew a new life was growing in me till the second I closed my eyes before surgery. I will still love you forever and never forget you. I will always wonder what life would of been like if you were around. I will always be reminded every milestone I would of taken being pregnant with you and every milestone you would of taken in your life. I’ll never forget about you. To my unborn Child I will apologize for anything I have done to have possibly caused this. And I will apologize for the chance of life you did not have. I will love you forever .

Love always your mommy