Shes 5 weeks old, and I feel like I have no maternal instinct. I love her, and I feel protective of her, but I'm just feel like I'm not obsessed with her like everyone else is with their babies. It took me like 3 weeks to even feel love for her or want to kiss her.

I still don't know what her cries mean; I have a list of things on my phone to check for when she's upset. When she really melts down, my urge is to put her down and walk away, not try to comfort her. I get annoyed that she won't sleep anywhere except my arms because I can't nap during the day to catch up on the sleep I'm missing at night. And I hate breastfeeding-- it takes so much time and energy and makes it hard for me to get a break.

Sometimes I'm excited when I think about her growing older and becoming interactive and having a personality, but I just can't seem to be that thrilled by this baby that just eats and sleeps and cries.

I feel like a horrible mother and I worry that I made a lifetime commitment to another human being that I'm going to completely screw up. Maybe I'm too selfish to have kids and this was a huge mistake that I can't undo?

Ugh. At least my husband loves being a dad and can counterbalance how standoffish I feel.