Where has my motivation gone?

3 years ago I was going to the gym and being mindful with what I ate. I’ve been down this path ever since I was 16, I would get on a weight loss/exercise kick and be super dedicated to it, it wasn’t hard for me to just do it then. Now, I had my son 17 months ago, and with him I am now at my heaviest weight. I’m about 240 I believe. Before this I was 180(mostly muscle due to having a personal trainer at the gym), and had gotten up to 205 right when I got pregnant with him.

I do my best not to look at myself in a mirror, but I’m reminded how unhealthy I am every single day. I can’t clean the house without my back hurting so badly I have to sit down ever 5 minutes. I carry my son up a flight of stairs and I’m out of breath. I go up two flights of stairs holding nothing and I feel like I’m going to pass out. This is bad.

Back when I thought I needed to lose weight was nothing. I could easily get into a workout routine and stick with it. I just decided to try a 10 minute beginner yoga workout and I cant even do half the poses I used to be able to do with ease. I can’t even hold my body up anymore.

I have no motivation to continue this, but I KNOW I need to. If not for me then for my son.