Low self esteem

I’ve been with my boyfriend for more than 8 years and realized that my relationship negatively impacted my self esteem.

For years my boyfriend has made me feel like I’m not attractive enough and acts like he’s interested in other people. When we go out places I see him changing his demeanor and body language (try’s to stand up taller, “flex” his muscles, and makes eye contact to the person) and this happens when I’m there. I’m aware of how he changes, I’m very observant of his changes in body language. I totally get it when there’s someone attractive, you tend to just look. But this is something I feel like it’s intentional on his end and more than a glance.

This has continued to happen throughout our relationship and I’ve been working on not letting it bother me. I try to uplift myself and try to become more confident. But as I continue our relationship I realize that I don’t want to feel like this forever.

What are your thoughts?