Baby shower drama

Last August I lost twins (boy/girl) due to prematurity, 24 week delivery.

I am now pregnant and due in November with a little girl... we have been prepping for baby showers and now out of no where I’m hearing a lot of negativity about me having baby showers for her since this isn’t my first baby. 1) this might not be my first baby, but it is the first time I get to do all of this. I’ve never had a baby shower. 2) am I the only one that’s ever had a baby shower for a child that isn’t the first (no, people do this all the time!) 3) who cares if my baby shower is going to be “fancy” because we are doing it at an event house that uses “real plates” HEAVEN FORBID we use real plates!!!! 4) do people not understand how hurtful it is to say that just because this “isn’t my first” I shouldn’t have the same experiences as other people? Am I really expected to give up ever having a baby shower because my first two babies didn’t make it?!

I’m just ranting, I’ve just been hurt by multiple people over the last few weeks and I’m just done. I just want to call off the showers so everyone else is happy.... clearly I’m not allowed to be.