OB shamed (Long rant)

My regular OB requires me to see his partner at his practice at least once during pregnancy. Starting at week 9, I began experiencing horrible leg and back nerve pain. I spoke with my regular OB and he referred me to PT and stated Tylenol was safe in recommended doses.

When I saw OB #2 about ten weeks later, he told me I needed to go swimming daily. He shamed me for even considering Tylenol that I was killing my self, my liver and the baby despite taking the recommended dose or less. Unfortunately, i ran out and spent over 50 Dollars on a membership to go to the Y to find out swimming only made the pain worse.

When I returned to see OB #2 a second time, he referred me to a neurologist. I asked him what a neurologist would do and he said give a diagnosis and treatment. So I went to the neurologist and he did testing and did determine that I had nerve damage to my right leg *surprise* and prescribed me Tylenol 3. I called my OB office to leave a message for the doctor to find out if codeine is safe to be prescribed in very small doses (1-2 times per day). Two days later his nurse calls and left me a voicemail stating yes, it is safe but only use it when absolutely necessary (like when it becomes impossible to walk or stand because of the pain) and when taken in very small doses. I figured since it took two days to respond, I called her back to confirm and thought they must of talked to the doctor and I trusted it was safe as needed.

During that week I took 3 pills total. All at night because I was in excruciating pain. Every time I would cry myself to sleep because I felt so guilty that my “hard no” in using pain medication was my only option but my husband kept reminding me that being in pain is not ok and that I’m being responsible. He reminds me all the time that I’m a good mom and it’s not my fault I’m in so much pain.

I had my check up with OB #2 yesterday and he immediately told me I should still be swimming 7 days a week. When I confronted him that it made it worse, I asked him if he received the neurologist report. He said no. I told him I called the previous week when they prescribed me Tylenol 3 to make sure it was safe and he told me I should not have listened to the nurses and I need to listen to him. He told me I would become a drug addict and my baby would be a drug addict too. I am 28 weeks now and have been begging for help with my back pain for 19 weeks. Why would you send me to a neurologist and then tell me his recommendation is bogus. You wasted my time! He also shamed me for not getting my Gestational Diabetes test done but didn’t bother to order it and tell me how to have it done at their office until I was 28 weeks along.

Narcotic drugs were my “hard no” but when it was the only option given to me, I figured the best course of action was to call the office to confirm before even picking up the medication at the pharmacy. He told me I would only need more and more of the Tylenol 3. Now he wants to send me to a high risk OB because I took the prescribed medication 3 times in 8 days that his office told me was safe.

When I scheduled my next appointment in 2 weeks, I requested to go back to my original OB who I love and felt like actually listened to me. I’m so frustrated with how OB #2 is handling things and felt like I was either fat shamed (I’m plus size), pain shamed or simply ignored. My mom and husband have decided that I will no longer attend doctors appointments alone. Honestly if he’s the doctor on call when I deliver, I’ll be requesting the resident at the hospital.