Everyday becoming a challenge

Not sure if I'm fighting PPD at 11 weeks. Everyday seems like groundhog day, I go out everyday with my LO, but the crying makes me really depressed because I can't figure out at times why baby cries. I feel like I'm trapped into this life now I wanted but never knew how much it's affecting me. The nursing is making me sad, feeling stuck for hours at a time walking, shushing, talking useless stuff for the baby. I'm exhausted, I cry everyday. I've finally ordered a pump and bottle so maybe that will make it easier. I think about the responsibility I how when babies grow, I have no life of mine own. It's like my independence has been sucked put of me and I don't know if I'll ever get it back. I shouldn't think so terrible and negative but it feels that way. Please don't say I need counseling, can't afford it. I'm at the new mom's club twice a week. No woman talks abouts the hardships being a mom, it's like I'm alone. Why don't women talk about the PP problems, blues, stress?