I feel so lonely

I know a lot of moms are struggling a lot more than me and I am definitely thankful for my life but sometimes I feel so lonely.

I feel like my husband’s life hasn’t changed much since our baby was born and I resent him so much. I don’t mind when he goes out with our friends without me, but it makes me sad that he doesn’t feel the need to spend more time with baby and I. I go for dinner with friends occasionally, but my husband hasn’t missed one opportunity to hang out with our friends or to go to birthday parties since our baby was born.

He is going away tomorrow for a whole week for work and decided to spend tonight with friends instead of with me. He said he didn’t realize it would be his last night before the trip. I’m home watching tv and eating leftovers while folding my baby’s laundry while he’s out having fun. As usual.

I get that I don’t want to go out much since having our baby, but I’m just trying to adjust and be the best mom I can be. Our baby doesn’t always sleep before 10pm and I don’t want to leave him with a babysitter while I go out. I wouldn’t even have fun knowing my overly tired baby was home crying his eyes out :( is it bad that I just want to focus on being a mom for a few months? I have my whole life to go out.

To top it all off baby starts daycare next week and I’ll have to take care of this whole adaptation period on my own as my husband will be away. I’m dreading it already.

I’m so sad. I imagined this so differently, I thought my husband would be more involved in our baby’s life. We both wanted this child so much. Now I feel like I do 99% of the parenting and I don’t even feel like he acknowledges all the efforts I’m doing for our child. Sorry for the rant, I’m just feeling so sad today.