How can I stay positive?

Sh
I'm on CD32 and feeling really depressed I've had a number of bfn's in the last 5 days and I've decided not to test again 
​But I just want answers - I used to have perfect 30day cycles but for the last 10mths they have been from 26-36 and I'm going insane 
​There is nothing I can do to get my mind off it :-(