Forgiveness

Lately I’ve been struggling with forgiveness for my spouse. I realize that I need to forgive and more importantly, it has been placed heavily on my heart to pursue achieving that ability to forgive. Fully forgive. He’s been nothing but the most providing, supporting husband since we married. We conceived a beautiful child which is a blessing in my (and our) life.

The things I continue to hold against him are old sins from over the course of our 10 year dating relationship. It isn’t “fair” of me to hold these things against him. He is much more of a godly man now than then. He is a changed man, what I prayed many years for. I see it in his actions and other aspects of life.

Who am I to hold things against him? Jesus died to forgive all or sins, including mine, so what right do I have to not forgive him? The answer is none. Although I was hurt, I have no right to hold it against him and use that pain as an excuse.

I have been working very hard to find it in my heart to fully forgive him, to heal, and to move forward. I’m talking finally come face to face with things that I left buried deep down because it was too painful. Recent church sermons have helped give info and shed light on this desire I have. Jesus said to forgive 70x7. I want to leave things in the past and forgive, time and time again.

Please pray for continued healing of my heart and of previous hurts, to remember who I am (my identity) through Christ’s eyes, and to open my heart to fully forgive my husband and embrace our life together. I want to live in the present and not in the past. I want to be grateful he is being molded into the man I have prayed for so long. I do not want to harden my heart. Thank you so much.