I don’t know what to do anymore

I don’t even know where to start.. I don’t have many friends who I can talk to about my whole situation.

Ok so I got engaged to who I thought was the love of my life, perfect! Hard worker, provider, sweet with kids, completely takes care of me. Anything I needed he’d find a way to get it.

We’ve been living together since right after graduating high school it’s been almost 5 years now. Proposed to me June 29 2018 in Miami on the beach/ sunset in the back.

Couple months pass I had to make an emergency trip to Texas because my grandma was hospitalized then passed away

I come back home.. I had a weird feeling about him, I checked his phone and found he’s been talking to other girlSSSS.

Shattered my heart. I cried and argued, packed my things and left. But I wanted answers.. time goes by and we try to work things out. A year goes by and things are ok, living together again and I thought we were good, I’ll be honest I never learned to trust him again 100%

- so- our wedding date was going to be sept.21.19

On this day I found out AGAIN he’s been talking to someone else. We broke up.. but we still live together- I have no where else to live, all my belongings are here.. it’s all so confusing because I’m tired of getting hurt but living with him it’s hard to not do what a couple does.

Last week I went to a bar alone and met a guy.. I slept with him and it was SOO GOOD!

Got his number and talked alil, saw him again then now out of no where he’s not answering..

it was nice to be attracted to someone else. But now it’s all over... last night I slept with my now ex fiancé and it didn’t feel the same as before and made me sad.. idk what to do

My emotions are over the roof and it’s all bottled up, it’s like one thing after an other keeps happening