Life after Loss

I just lost my son at 21 weeks he weighed 12ounces and measured 10inches. I went in for a routine ultrasound on September 30th and was sent into the hospital due to an incompetent cervix, when I was admitted I was dilated to 3CMs. On October 1st at 10:38PM my water broke. Then at 4:28Am on October 3rd my sweet Angel Baby “Kai Alexander Wood” was born... It’s been 4 days and the phantom movements and kicks break my heart every time, because I have to remind myself that he’s not there, that he has passed away. The pain goes away for a little bit and then becomes crippling again... Does anyone have any advice to help with the pain?