I'm trying so hard to get over him

This is gonna be a long one so if u don't feel like thinking about the person you were once closed to...don't read. But if u want to be miserably with me...go ahead.

Over the very beginning of the summer, I met this guy at work. In the beginning I had no idea he liked me, especially since I'm younger and tend to look horrible at work... anyway. Hes 28 I'm 18. I always go for older guys because they tend to be a bit more mature.

He would flirt with me every day at work and when I realized I started to flirt back. And it was just so uplifting. The way he talked.. it's refreshing to be around smart guys that put effort in. Especially since the guys at my age are not like that. Soon, I looked forward to going to work just to see him.

One day we added each other on snapchat and would talk everyday. He said he's not sure what hes looking for because hes been single for so long and has a lot on his plate. (A 3 year old)

Knowing that I kind of tried to keep that in the back of my.mind. However, we started to hang out almost everyday and we really got close.

Sex became very emotional. And he would do things like kiss my forehead at random times. Cuddle with me. Play with my hair. In the car he would always massage my neck if I'm driving. Or just look at me. He knew my favorite songs, what I'd say before i said it. He was very affectionate.

Then I met his son and he liked me so much that it scared him (the guy). Not a lot but he said that we should space out the times his son sees me...that lasted for about a week before we went back to normal. Soon enough he was kissing me in front of his son and say that he likes me (I took that as a hint that he wanted more...or else y would he act like that in front of his son)

One day he asked me "hypotheticaly" if we would tell ppl at work if we dated and I said not immediately....

And then another day we were having a funny convo about something and he said hes planning on sticking around.

In my mind...the Friends with benefits thing was turning into two people that want to be together...

And then later I realized it wasn't going there. So I ended it...he said he has feelings for me but that he just cant be with someone right now and that the age difference would freak our families out and that maybe things might be different at a different point in our lives.

If u knew me in person I'm not an emotional person. This one however took a week of crying and thinking about not having the one thing I want constantly...I would see him at work and just literally feel pain.

This brings me here, 3 weeks later. we went back to having sex but yesterday I ended that too because I have a date tomorrow and dont want tabs open. Im.doing much better. I don't think about him as much and I have made progress to be wanting to go on a date. Sometimes I still think about little things like how comfortable and happy I felt with him around. But I'm trying to move on.